Witch-Doctor Wednesday: Baldness

Don’t you wish you could keep your flowing locks forever, and halt that fast-receding hairline? Do you lie awake with a slightly chillier pate each night and wish there was a cure?

Well now there is!*

Or at least, back in 1929 they thought there was. Either that, or someone on the editorial team won a bet that he could get this little gem in:

"No darling, of course I don't mind that we lost all our money in the Crash... That's right, you just put some more onion juice on your head."

“No darling, of course I don’t mind that we lost all our money in the Crash… That’s right, you just put some more onion juice on your head.”

 

BALDNESS, a cure for.                                                                                                                                                                                                 Apply regularly a mixture of 1 pint water, 1/2 oz. pearl ash, and 1 gill onion juice.

 

To be clear, 1 gill is 1/4 pint, or about 140ml. And how on earth do you juice an onion??

Practicalities aside, this came from Selfridge’s Household Encyclopaedia, London, 1929, which sounds like a pretty respectable book. It certainly makes you wonder what the criteria for entries were, if not, say, actual proven effectiveness. Luckily the editor seems to like slightly dubious remedies; there are plenty of others in there.

 

That said, if it turns out that this actually works, feel free to lavish me with gifts (although please: no onion-juicers).

 

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*Disclaimer: There isn’t.